Why Choosing Your Path Doesn’t Matter—But How You Feel About It Does

Midlife often brings a crossroads—a moment to reflect on where you’ve been and dream about what comes next. For many women, this phase ignites the desire to start a business, create a new career, or pivot toward a more fulfilling second act. But standing at this junction, it’s easy to feel paralyzed by the decision: Which path is the right one?

Here’s the liberating truth: The path you choose doesn’t matter nearly as much as how you feel about the journey. When you focus on how you want to feel—aligned, purposeful, joyful—you’ll find that any path can lead to success and fulfillment.

As Danielle LaPorte says in The Desire Map, “Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have.” And she’s not alone. Contemporary thinkers like Dr. Sasha Heinz (The Big Leap into Midlife), Martha Beck (The Way of Integrity), and Jay Shetty (Think Like a Monk) echo similar ideas: clarity comes not from external decisions but from internal alignment.

Let’s explore why focusing on your feelings is the most powerful compass for your second act and how it can help you start the business or life you’ve been dreaming of.

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What Does “Feel Your Way to Success” Really Mean?

It’s tempting to believe there’s one “right” way to start a business or create a fulfilling second act. But the truth is, there are countless paths to success. What matters is how you feel as you take each step.

Feeling your way to success means getting clear on the emotions you want to experience daily. Whether it’s freedom, creativity, connection, or abundance, your desired feelings should guide every decision you make—big or small.

The Shift: Instead of asking, “What should I do next?” ask, “How do I want to feel as I do it?”

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The Science of Emotions and Success

Modern research in psychology and neuroscience supports the idea that emotions play a critical role in decision-making and success. Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, author of How Emotions Are Made, explains that emotions aren’t just reactions; they’re predictions your brain makes based on past experiences. By consciously focusing on positive emotions like purpose, joy, and love, you can train your brain to prioritize actions that align with your desired outcomes.

This is especially relevant for midlife women embarking on a new business journey. When you prioritize how you want to feel—whether it’s empowered, financially secure, or creatively fulfilled—you’re more likely to choose actions that lead to sustainable success.

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Practical Steps: Aligning Your Business (and Life) with Your Feelings

If you’re ready to build your second act based on how you want to feel, here’s how to get started:

1. Identify Your Core Desired Feelings
   Reflect on what truly matters to you. Is it freedom, creativity, joy, or impact? Write down the top 3-5 feelings that you want to guide your life and business.
2. Visualize Your Day-to-Day Life
   Imagine yourself in the business or life you want. How do you spend your time? How do you feel at the end of each day? This exercise will help you create a vision that’s aligned with your feelings.
3. Make Feelings-Based Decisions
   When faced with a choice, ask yourself: “Which option brings me closer to my desired feelings?” Let your emotions, not external expectations, guide you.
4. Create Daily Rituals to Amplify Your Feelings
   Incorporate habits that nurture your desired emotions. For example:
   • If you want to feel inspired, schedule creative time every day.
   • If you want to feel connected, prioritize networking or client calls.
   • Try Journaling to understand your feelings and release any hold that perfection has on you.  Click here to get the RELEASING PERFECTION journal and guide.
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5. Let Go of the Outcome
   Focus on the process, not the destination. Trust that as long as you’re aligned with your feelings, you’re on the right path.

    

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Real-Life Stories: Women Who Felt Their Way to Success

• Martha Beck, author of The Let Them Theory and The Way of Integrity, is a powerful example of feeling your way to success. After leaving a high-profile academic career that didn’t align with her values, she chose to prioritize peace, authenticity, and integrity. This shift led her to create a fulfilling career as a life coach and bestselling author, proving that success starts with living in alignment with your truth.
• Mel Robbins, author of The 5 Second Rule, went from hitting rock bottom in her midlife to becoming one of the most sought-after motivational speakers in the world. She felt stuck in her career and personal life until she started focusing on small actions aligned with how she wanted to feel—confident, courageous, and in control. Her journey inspires women to take action even when the path forward isn’t clear.
• Shonda Rhimes, the creator of hit TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal, famously redefined her life with her Year of Yes. By saying yes to opportunities that aligned with her desires for joy, connection, and personal growth, she transformed her relationships, career, and overall happiness. Shonda’s story reminds us that embracing feelings of empowerment and authenticity can unlock extraordinary possibilities.

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A Midlife Woman’s Call to Action: Start Today

The message is clear: Your second act isn’t about choosing the “right” path; it’s about aligning with what feels right for you. When you get clear on your desired feelings, the details of the journey—zigging, zagging, or pivoting—become less important.

If you’re ready to start a business or pivot your life in midlife, let’s take the first step together. I’d love to help you identify your desired feelings, clarify your vision, and create a roadmap for your next chapter.

Book Your Consultation Call Here